Still chugging along.

I haven't really been in the blogging mood lately. Everything has been super busy the entire month of Feb and by the time I sit down to play on the computer I really don't have anything to say on here. Valentines was great at the shop, we were very busy and also had a ton of funeral work at the same time that made for a late, late, late night before Vday. I did paperwork the rest of the week and then on Mon started a temporary job taping paper to folders. It's super hard and requires so much brain power that if Kady had thumbs she could totally do it. I'm not complaining, it's a job and I'll get paid real money. Hopefully enough to cover bills for a few months. I'm thankful that my bills aren't very much so I'm in a really hard place yet. I'm still hoping that magical full time job will find me soon. I'm still putting applications out there but no bites yet.

Things I *don't* have to worry about!

Sometimes in all the lists of things you have to worry about it's nice to acknowledge the things that you *don't* need to worry about! I've been thinking about going back to school this fall and what I should major in when I go back. I realized that for financial aid I would need this years tax return and since I don't know if I'll be able to get it from N and I also know we made too much money for me to get an aid that it would be better for me to wait until 2013 to start school. I also don't have to worry about getting financial aid next year because it's very unlikely that I'll make over $40,000 this year! Skadoosh! Another thing I don't have to worry about! It's nice to have some things crossed off the list! School has been stressing me out slightly because I have a few things in mind but no solid idea of my future plans. Building a new future is scary, it's nice when something seems to fall into place.

Gunpowder and Vodka

Not together of course, that would be dangerous. I went to spend time with my Bitches at Rucker this weekend and drank more vodka than I've had in a long time and then spent Sat afternoon at the gun range. It was nice and cathargic watching all the targets fall over and over. I'm thankful that Steve let me waste so many of his bullets and have free reign over the guns. I like shooting rifles but if I'm going to do that I want long range targets, for short range give me a pistol any day. I like the challenge. It was good to spend the weekend with people that know my heart and have been there for me since almost the beginning of my marriage. They know when to lift me up and when to call N dirty words to make me laugh. Friends are the family you choose for yourself and I have an excellent family. Their words of encouragement keep me going on the days I start to feel overwhelmed like yesterday when N kept asking me questions about every little thing. It exhausts me when I think about how much everything is truly changing in my life. I'm used to being in control of my life and the house and bills and now I don't have that control anymore and it's hard to wrap myself around that. I'm getting there, it's just going to take time.

Moving sucks.

I mean there's not many good things you can say about packing your life up in a uhaul knowing most of it will sit in storage until you can afford a place of your own to unpack it. I'm so thankful that Erin, Nikki, and Mo came up to help because between going to get the uhaul and going to sign the divorce papers I didn't actually pack a single box. The girls swooped in and between them and mama got everything in the house organized and daddy got it all loaded into the truck with room leftover. It was amusing to see the difference in box labeling between the girls and mama. They had sticky notes with a description of what was in the box, mama wrote "stuff". And while "stuff" was completely accurate an idea of the kind of stuff would have been more helpful.

It's SO good to have my bed back though, I slept like a rock last night. Of course 2 crazy busy days in a row with little sleep the nights before might have helped but I think it was just the excitement of having my bed back. Oh and my TV, I really missed my TV a lot. I bought the Roku box and so far I'm pretty impressed with the quality of shows from it. I've been able to catch up on Grey's and Private Practice. I'll still have to watch some of my stuff on my computer because I can't find it on the box but some is better than none.

My life all packed up in the uhaul

And all my stuff in storage that wouldn't fit in my room. I still have to go through a lot of the boxes. They packed up all the kitchen stuff and I have no idea what is where in there. I do want some of that stuff back out though.

Building a new life...

On New Years Eve my husband and I separated after almost 8 years of marriage. Now I'm living back home with my parents and surrounded by family while I rebuild my life with my 3 dogs. I have a passion for wood working and refinishing furniture that I inherited from my Pop and now that I'm back home I can use his woodshop for all my projects. I'm looking forward to a year filled with new projects, furniture and healing as I surround myself with piles of sawdust and scrap wood.